Slide Smoothly into a Girl's DMs

We’re going to clue you into how you can slide into any bird’s DMs and get her to respond.

Now, this is a delicate operation, and you’ll have to navigate a narrow path to succeed in getting into a girl’s thoughts.

If you do it right, you’ll have her eager to meet and find out more about the fascinating man you are. How? The short version is: you send her some flirty texts. She responds with increasing interest, then you get her to commit to meeting, and before you know it, you’ll be laughing and eyeing each other with approval.

But it’s easy to go wrong, even after some very promising exchanges. Some men either push too hard, get too serious or get too arrogant. Other men wait too long ‘pull the trigger’ and go for the date, so by the time they try, she’s gotten bored and uninterested.

Remember, you probably aren’t the only guy she is ‘talking’ with.

So, how do you get her to exchange DMs with you? We’ve put together some steps that will help AND come up with some vital dos and don’ts.


1. Go overboard.

Girls are typically much more sensitive than men are and can easily spot when a man is doing too much or trying to seem something he isn’t. You need to discover the uniqueness in you and be comfortable with who you’re BEST #authenticself. She’s getting chatted up by other men, so you need to stick out in a good way. You do that with brief and interesting messages, not with over the top or needy texts and emoticons.

2. Send a dick pic… ever!

Mates, doing this shows desperation or a complete cluelessness as to what will get a woman interested in you, and you may even get a reputation as a ‘creepy’ guy (women exchange information with each other, you know). Sure, one day she’ll see it – hopefully – but when she wants to see it. This tactic never works

3. Overdo the emojis.

Emojis can be good for emphasising a point or conveying emotions, but they should normally accompany text, not replace it. Communicating thoughts is especially important to women, and you’ll set yourself from your lazy-ass or desperate competition if you invest some effort in what you send her. I mean, how is @Shirly from Sheffield supposed to respond to five smileys that have nothing to do with what she just DM’ed you?

Girls sense when a guy is not genuine or is too lazy to put some thought into his DMs.

4. Be a dick.

You can be cocky in a funny way. There is a difference between being a bit cocky and being a dick. Just because you’ve slid into her DMs doesn’t mean you have the right to expect her complete attention or treat her with open disrespect. And if she signals disinterest, analyse your DM strategy, learn from mistakes and move on.

5. Constantly leave her hanging.

OK, you don’t want her to think that you live only to DM with her, and you don’t always need to respond to hers immediately – after all, she is not the only thing in your life. But leaving her waiting for days usually backfires. She’s exchanging DMs with other blokes, and as the saying goes, “Out of sight (of her phone’s screen), out of mind.”

Don’t ignore her. Fascinate her.


1. Start with names.

There’s nothing unique or memorable about, ‘hey beautiful’ or ‘hi, sexy lady’. She’s seen and heard it maybe hundreds of times. If you address her by name, you’ll show her you’ve actually remembered who she is. And her name is very personal as well – it’s who she is! So, make some effort when tipping those letters into your phone.

2. Respond directly to her DM.

Women talk about things that happen in their lives. And if she’s taken some time to tell the world about what just happened to her – positive or negative, it’s important to her. It lets you engage her on a subject she’s interested in AND shows that you’re actually paying attention. Once she’s responded to your comment, you’ve got a great chance of sliding into DM mode.

3. Ask questions.

We mean meaningful questions, not just ‘what’s up, babe?’ Ask open questions that will encourage her to respond with more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and questions that show interest in HER. Her answers will also provide you a lot of information you can use for future DMs.

4. Make her laugh.

You’ve heard this before, but women really do appreciate men who make them laugh. Who doesn’t like to laugh? You can do this by poking fun at yourself and even at her in a good-natured, flirty way. If you get her to laugh, she will look forward to your next message, and she’ll very likely invite you into her DM world.

5. Move to texts.

Of course, the whole purpose of all these tips is to slide into her DMs and move the conversation into text. Once you’ve done that, you can set that IRL date you’ve wanted. But don’t ask for her number too early. Make sure you have something good going – for example, she’s answering your messages and showing interest in you. This will dramatically increase your chances.

Once you’re in, move the convo along fairly quickly toward setting up a real date. After all, it’s the only way to get physical and – if you want – develop a real, human relationship with her.

So, that’s it! Follow our tips, learn from mistakes (you’ll make some), and you’ll be sliding into DMs before you know it.

Once you’ve met, be your – best – self. Don’t be a dick, continue the humour, and remain attentive while you get to know each other.

Be natural, be genuine, don’t be a dick and you’re likely to start a conversation that can hopefully progress towards a real-life date if the mood is right.

Once you’re in her DM zone, you’ll find out just what kind of woman she is. Every woman is different - her sense of humour, her interests, what’s really important to her – and she’ll either be right for you or not. After all, you have as much right to be choosy as she does!